Passing Time

Don’t you love when that thing pops up on Facebook to remind you of what you were doing this time last year, or a couple of years ago, or five years ago?

Hibiscus

The photo above, among others, popped up the other day to remind me that it had been a year since Adam had a deposition in Tampa for a lawsuit that has been dragging on since July of 2013.

In the same week, the memory of posts about the Amber Alert we shared for my nephews popped up. My brother and his wife kidnapped their children the day after losing their parental rights, and sailed away on a small boat to Cuba. They are both serving prison time now, despite the fact the actions of both were, from start to finish, driven by mental illness. In my brother’s case, every act was a symptom of schizophrenia, diagnosed and confirmed by court appointed psychiatrists. I’m not sure that he is being treated for his mental illness in the prison system in Florida. Hell, he’s lucky if he receives medical treatment for physical ailments, like his back injury that is causing nerve damage in his foot.

The day before the abduction, on April first, my own kids missed a flight back from Colorado, where they were visiting my ex-in-laws with my ex-husband, because my daughter and her father got into an argument that caused them to get booted from the flight home.

In all the spinning of wheels, where have I gone in the time since these things have happened?

Adam had to spend his last $10 in cash to notarize a release for his records from an unrelated work injury (to his shoulder, from back in 2009…) that he already notarized and released a couple of years ago. The form he signed and notarized already expired, because too much time has passed.

My nephews are older, but I haven’t seen or heard from them in several years, nor have my parents. Every now and then, their maternal grandparents will send a message or update or some pictures, but the last time any of us were permitted to see them was in the summer of 2013.

I am every bit as financially insecure in this moment as I was in April of 2013. The difference, I suppose, is that I have significantly less faith in the legal system, and I have slightly more faith in my own ability to bounce back.

We’ve got this. Somehow. I don’t quite know how, yet, but we’re going to make it work. We’ll move into the house where Adam grew up. We’ll plant vegetables, and berries, and grapes. We’ll raise chickens and goats. I’ll take pictures of the semi-tame raccoons and make children’s books. I’ll continue working on that sequel, which yes, I have finally started…

And at night, far from the lights of any city, we’ll be able to see the stars.

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