It’s something about this time of year that brings out all the First-World problems in me. Don’t get me wrong. I realize I am lucky to have a roof over my head, clothing on my back, and the ability to feed the kiddos. I have a family I love, including a great husband, three terrific kids who are all passing to thriving in school this year, and lots of sweet furry little creatures that bring us joy. I even have the pleasure of living within easy driving distance of my parents and my one living grandparent.
Why, then, do I sometimes find myself wanting to burst out crying on the drive home from work (or an obligatory post work trip to Walmart? Okay, admittedly, midnight trips to Walmart could make anyone cry…) or listen to something melancholy like Samuel Barber’s Adagio for Strings on YouTube?
A little music to slit your wrists to?
I guess it’s that feeling of never quite getting ahead. The feeling of having a nice fat holiday pay check come in, just to have a deer projectile launched into my van, costing the overtime amount in insurance deductibles. Or maybe it’s feeling like by the time I recover from switching between afternoons to nights and having that one day off to try to reset my circadian rhythm, it’s back to work again.
Maybe it’s the vitamin D deficiency that I tested positive for, because not only is it winter, and even in Florida we get less sun, but lately I keep the hours of a vampire?
Maybe it’s just the frustration of it all.
Or maybe it’s the effects of starting blood pressure medication and migraine medication, and not being able to fall asleep as soon as my head hits the pillow for the first time in my adult life.
At any rate, I ran a Google search on the blues vs. depression. I’m pretty sure this is just frustration with the current situation, and I am trying to work my way out of it.
In the meanwhile, large vitamin D supplements, healthier eating, and I need to plan things a bit better? And I am hoping that certain prospects may pan out. After all, I am past due for a bit of good news.