Geeking Out

There is nothing in the world quite like the feeling of belonging. The human species tends to like to group together, even those who consider themselves “introverts.”

Truth be told, I’m realizing lately that I am probably more introverted than extroverted. But it’s a shifting scale for me, and sometimes I can be more extroverted, like when I was in college. But all too often, I feel as though I am standing on the other side of the glass, watching people, not really belonging to their world. I used the term “beer commercial world” often when I was in college. I would watch other kids get drunk, the only sober person at the party, entertained but often not really connecting.

Then, at times, there would be that connection. Usually for me it happens more in a one-on-one sort of way. I’ll make a really close friend. I feel close to Adam – we seemed to “get” each other right away. But rarely do I ever feel a sense of “these are my people.”

Then, yesterday, it happened in that Facebook group, the Snacktacular page in which we make fun of “Y’all Qaeda.” It happened in this post, by one “Aynus McDiddle”:

ACTION ALERT!!!!! IMMEDIATE ATTENTION REQUIRED!!!!!

AS DISCUSSED AT OUR LAST SECRET MEETING AND DUE TO THE HIGH NUMBER OF BUNDY RANCH, CBC AND OTHER INFILTRATORS TO OUR PAGE WE HAD TO CHANGE SOME OF OUR SECRET CODE BASE. PLEASE NOTE THE BELOW CHANGES MADE TO THE YALLQAEDA PACKAGE. YOU WILL NEED TO ADJUST YOUR OWN FACEBOOK CODE TO REFLECT THOSE CHANGES AND RECOMPILE. NOTE ALSO THAT THE NEW CODE WILL AUTOMATICALLY BLOCK ANY AND ALL FACEBOOK ACCESS FOR KNOWN INFILTRATORS, SO AS THE CODE IS EXECUTED EACH NIGHT AT (CLASSIFIED) HUNDRED HOURS THEY WILL LOSE THEIR FACEBOOK ACCOUNTS.

IT IS OF THE UTMOST IMPORTANCE THAT THE NEW CODE REMAINS A SECRET!!!!!

– END OF ACTION ALERT
__________________________________________________________

package org.militia.oregon.patriotits.yallqaeda;

import org.militia.person;
import org.militia.snackType;
import org.militia.personType;
import java.util.ArrayList;

/*
* Class to provide snacks and socks to YallQaeda patriotits
*/

public class SnackProvider {

private ArrayList<person> morons;

public void setMorons(ArrayList<person> x) {

this.morons = x;
}

public ArrayList<person> provideSnacks() {

// iterate through the list of militiamen and provide snacks and socks to
// each

int i;
person currentMoron;

for (i=0; i<morons.length; i++) {
currentMoron = morons[i];
processMoron(currentMoron);
}
return morons;
}

private void processMoron(person currentMoron) {

switch(currentMoron.getType()) {

// douchebags and cockwombles don’t get snacks or socks!!!

case personType.DOUCHEBAG, personType.COCKWOMBLE:

currentMoron.setSockNumber(0);
currentMoron.setSnack(snackType.NONE);
System.out.println(“Douchebag/cockwomble alert: ” + currentMoron.getName() + “!”);
break;

case personType.TARPMAN:

// tarp guy gets extra socks because he must be cold

currentMoron.setSockNumber(4);
currentMoron.setSnackType(snackType.BLUEWAFFLES);
break;

case personType.INFILTRATOR:

// infiltrators to our page automatically get their Facebook access
// blocked and have to give a sock back

currentMoron.setSockNumber(currentMoron.getSockNumber() – 1);
currentMoron.setSnackType(snackType.PENISBUTTER);
currentMoron.setBlockFacebookAccess(true);
break;

default:

currentMoron.setSockNumber(2);
currentMoron.setSnackType(snackType.CHEESYPOOFS);
break;
}
}
}

What happened next was pure magic. Over 350 comments came in, with comments on the comments, in a virtual nerd-fest medley. References were made to Ovaltine, Monty Python, Tolkien, the Hitch Hiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, the military, Airplane… the list is endless. People were coding messages in foreign languages, ancient dialects, Klingon, Elven, and binary, to name a few.

My favorite part was the link to the Binary to ASCII/Text translator.

0100100100100000011010000110000101110110011001010010000001100110011011110111010101101110011001000010000001101101011110010010000001110000011001010110111101110000011011000110010100100001

Go. Copy and paste it and see what it says. You know you want to.

 

 

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