Assuming you haven’t been living under a rock, you know the name Kim Davis. You know more than you never wanted to know about Kim Davis: you know that she is a Clerk of a county court in Kentucky. You know that she was married to Mr. A, got pregnant by Mr. B (TWICE!) divorced Mr. A, married NOT Mr. B, but Mr. C, divorced Mr. C, married Mr. B, divorced Mr. B and remarried Mr. C again. You know that she has openly defied a Federal Court Order that she grant marriage licenses to same-gender couples, and that she did so often enough, after plenty of warnings by the CONSERVATIVE Federal Court Judge, she was held in contempt of court and put in jail. And if you’re confused yet, don’t worry – you SHOULD be.
If you are as bad as I am about “clicking” on things online, you may know she is part of an Apostolic Church. That’s why she has stringy hair down past her ass. It’s an Apostolic Fashion thing.
What you may not yet know is that she is now being sued by EMI (and possibly the band Survivor) for unauthorized use of the song “Eye of the Tiger.” So is Mike Huckabilly, who wants to go to jail for Kim Davis.
Let’s just be honest for a moment, shall we Mike H.? You don’t want to go to jail for K.D. – you want to go because you’re picturing a scene out of “Brokeback Mountain,” and you were too embarrassed to ask Rick Perry in his sexy cowboy jacket to go on a camping trip with you.
I’ll bet Ted Cruz would have, if you hadn’t pushed him away in your zeal to steal the limelight in a vain attempt to try to compete with the Donald for Crazy Conservative votes.
UPDATE: Yes, Survivor IS suing Kim Davis and Mike Huckabee, for $1.2 Million.