A Public Service Message to Rick Scott – God wants you to run for President!

There are so many problems in America today. I received a link to this story in my work inbox the other day, and yes, I shared it on Facebook, and encourage my friends to do likewise if they see fit.

In case you are too lazy to click, it’s about a homeless student who lives in Gainesville, in a tent, works part time at University of Florida, is disabled, and has just had his food stamp money revoked without being given any meaningful reason. The man has a disability that is beyond the help of any of the charitable organizations who typically help people, he lost his insurance when he lost his job, and now he is on a food strike. I’m wondering how long he will make it.

So what does all of this have to do with Rick Scott running for president of the  United States? Well, the way I see it, most of the candidates in the Republican Clown Car believe God has personally advised them to run. I was thinking about that last night when I had two kids too many cram into my van wanting a ride across town. Clown cars have their purposes.

Rick Scott, GOD wants you to run for President. He is testing you. You are being called to the Oval Office. But first, you have to plant a seed. A sign of your faith. You know, how Jesus had his followers cast aside all of their belongings and follow him?

Rick Scott side by side with Lord Voldemort

God wants you to resign from your office as Governor of Florida. Join the ranks of your doppelgangers and fellow Reagan Horcruxes.

Ronald Reagan and a mix of assorted right wing politicos
Ronald Reagan and four of his horcruxes

So, what does God require? God requires that you demonstrate your Faith in Him™ by resigning your position as Governor of Florida, taking all of the money you and your wife made by destroying healthcare in this state, and investing it into your Presidential Campaign. Because it’s all or nothing, see? Either you believe in God or you don’t – you can’t pick and choose. Don’t worry about the state of Florida, God will take care of us, too. We’re working on that Ark Building thing right about now, as the state recedes under the water of an entire year of rain that is totally NOT caused by Climate Change. Just ask your kissing cousin, Marco Rubio. The rain in Florida PROVES that Global Warming doesn’t exist!

Do I have your attention yet, Lizard Man?

Lizard moving its head

We know how Precious you are.

Governor Scott side by side with Gollum
Rick Scott, our “Precious” governor of Florida”

This country needs YOU. We’re waiting for you to show your true self and RUN! for President.

Cockroach on an exterior wood wall.

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