Plans averted

This was supposed to be the week of a big road trip, up to Long Island to pick up my kids and spend a couple of days with them before driving back home. It isn’t going to happen.

Life is a difficult thing sometimes. I have about $15 in my checking account, craptacular credit, and about a quarter of a tank of gas, which will get me to Valdosta, Georgia.

The ex actually graciously offered his JetBlue points to fly me up, but that leaves other financial issues, such as where, exactly, am I going to take the kids, and what will I be driving (For that matter, $15 does not buy many Subway tokens) and what would I feed them.

So this will be the first year out of sixteen that I’ve missed any of the children’s birthdays, as my oldest son will be sixteen by the end of this week. Where DID the time go?

It won’t be the last missed birthday, I know. They are all growing up, and there will come a point when they will, in turn, leave the house as adults, and make their own way in the world. Sigh.

Our children truly are not “ours.” They are their own, and we are just here to assist them in developing into the adults who will, some day, face many of the same struggles we ourselves face. They will have to decide where to work, whether and whom to marry, how many children to have, and they will have to balance all of those decisions against how to pay bills like that horrific Utilities Bill I have coming up later this week. Cue music for the Lion King’s Circle of Life.

I’m not going to lie – sometimes I get a little teary-eyed this week when I think about missing the Fourth of July, Matt’s birthday, and the sort of things we’ve been able to do in the past. I suppose you could say the drawbacks of divorce are the financial ruin and the time-sharing that come from the process. I know that’s the reason some people stay married despite feeling imprisoned.

What was I saying the other day about debtor’s prison?

It’s one day, one week, a few weeks, out of many, and they will be back at the end of the summer. Until they come home, I will be working my ass off with school, the full time job, and part time working with Uber. I am hoping to not only catch up on some bills, but put aside enough to do something fun and exciting with them when they get back.

In the mean time, I have this week off from the full time job. More time to work through Web Authoring, Programming, and Ubering. (Yes, I’m making that a verb. It’s part of my “Invent a word” program.)

boy in sailor suit
Matthew at 18 months
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