Time for some Coffee again… I have also gone back and edited previous posts to correct the problems with links to the original blog that introduced me to this fun idea!
I needed far more coffee than I consumed this morning, but then, caffeine is not a reliable method of waking me up. It’s more of a comfort thing than anything.
If we were having coffee right now, right this minute, you’d probably tell me I don’t need caffeine, because right now, I am wide awake despite sleep deprivation.
Why, you ask?
Have you ever seen a job posting that excited you so much that you wanted to start jumping up and down, raising your hand, shouting, “Hire me! Hire ME!”
Yes, I found one this morning. It’s me, if only I had the history on the resume to land the thing. I just composed a rather desperate letter to the local temp agency that posted it.
What is it, you ask? And why do I feel it’s “me” even though I don’t have the specific degree?
The title is “Design and Market Coordinator.” It involves managing social media, creating content for their website and mobile applications, and writing “engaging copy” for social media and emails. It also involves creating brochures, posters, signage, booth graphics…
Why I want that job should be obvious to most people who have read my blog for the past couple of months. I love to write, love to take photographs, love to create aesthetically pleasing designs… To be paid to do something I want to do anyway? Isn’t that what everyone dreams about?
Why I probably won’t get the job? I’m not a graphic designer. At least, I don’t hold a degree as such. I’m just a person with ideas in my head who is in the process of learning how to put those ideas into something more concrete.
I wrote to the person at the temp agency anyway, because I’d be a fool not to do so. I told her I can send samples… or if they want to send me something they’d like designed to their specifications, I will create something new to give them a sample of what I am capable of.
I’m still growing. I’m still learning, but everyone has to start somewhere. It’s such a long-shot, but it’s there and I want it, and damn it, haven’t I paid my dues when it comes to misery? Isn’t it time yet for something to go colossally right in my universe?
I can’t stay where I am much longer. Waiting for scraps of something creative to do between reading back registration information and warrants checks… knowing that the creative endeavors I do on the job will only encourage them to dump stuff on me that I can only do in dead moments and expect me to do these things even when it’s busy… This is a job. There is no upward mobility. And all of my efforts to move within the college have come to absolutely nothing, despite my education and hard work. Worse, I feel like I’m sitting on a ticking time bomb, knowing that at some point an impossible situation will arise, and I will probably handle it in a way they don’t like because I am not like them… we don’t really even have protocol or even a functional training manual in this place.
It’s been a long time since I’ve dared to believe fate is anything other than a sadistic, fickle bitch.
So, we shall see… For now, I’m just trying to find my calm place.