Brain-fried Day

It’s not exactly a “day from Hell,” but it’s one of those days where I am not quite “on” my “game”, so to speak. I know a lot of it has to do with what I’ve been eating/not eating… namely, after eating leftover Vegetable Egg Foo Young, I didn’t have a very good appetite last night after work. I didn’t eat supper, and I wound up waking up very tired, not on-the-ball enough to pack more than a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for brunch today. Our office supervisor brought in some lovely St. Patrick’s Day cupcakes, but more sugar is probably not the best choice. I also had some leftover garlic rolls from the Pi-Day trip to Piesano’s. They were yummy, but again, nothing but starch and fat.  The twelve hour/no breaks shifts get to me some times. Today is one of those times… and I was stressing out over getting the first chapter of Excel homework done (I did! It’s turned in!) so I spent every moment of “down time” delving through my checking account to find all my expenses and come up with the categories of how I spent my money over the last three months to be placed in a spreadsheet with a graph. Let me tell you, it’s depressing. The only bright spot is that we seem to be having a downward trend in spending. Not enough of a trend, but a trend… Which is a good thing, as my van needs new tires.

Trees in the park in Tallahassee
From Mission Park, Tallahassee, ca. 2013

Like I said, I did manage to finish the assignment in the down time moments today, so when I do get out of here, I can go for another walk if I want, something I did last night for the first time in quite a while. Not just any walk, a walk all by myself. No friends, no kids, no puppy dog wanting to stop every twelve seconds to pee on something or sniff something else. Just me and my thoughts and the scent of the wildflowers that are blooming on the side of the road. I love my children, I love my friends, I love Adam, but I think that I am ever-so-slightly an introvert, at least at times. I love being alone with my own thoughts, and the calm that comes with it. I guess that’s why, in a way, I kind of liked working the night shift, though it wasn’t good for my relationship with the kids or Adam. (Not to mention, I was swinging back and forth between days and nights, so I never had a full two days off in a row. Yeah, that part pretty much sucked…)

So, I’ve had a blah day, but Adam? He’s had a really crappy day. Turns out someone has been charging stuff to his debit card – something he discovered while trying to pick up some medicine and food for his mother. AND… The rental car company, who told us we were all paid in full when we turned in the car SIX MONTHS AGO suddenly decided that they were missing a payment from the first day or two when the insurance said they were paying (I’m pretty sure I’d already given them a money order to cover that BACK WHEN IT HAPPENED IN SEPTEMBER) so they charged Adam’s debit card TODAY. Yeah, thanks, Enterprise.

And so it goes… Every time you start to feel like you can almost catch your breath, something else comes along and knocks the wind out of you. When my horrible legal battle over the divorce was finally winding down, I managed to rear-end someone in Adam’s truck, which should have been considered totaled… Long story short? The repair guy not only didn’t give us a written estimate for four months, but when he did, he backdated stuff he didn’t even know about at the time he had it dated, AND he forged Adam’s signature on the release to my insurance.

With the hassle from THAT lovely ordeal, I wound up renting a car for SEVERAL MONTHS, before we finally purchased something, using the insurance money as a down payment. At this point, we both have horrible credit (Adam had lots o’medical bills from when he died and was brought back with medical intervention) and we’ve had to go through some fly-by-night financial company where we have to pay every week, but that seems to be going okay so far. (We keep all receipts!)

Black and white photo of Superman Ride at Six Flags Great Adventure
Where are you, Superman?

There was a time in my life when I thought I was pressed for money, because truth be told, my entire adult life has been riddled with one thing after another, as I guess is true for anyone not born a Hilton or a Rothschild. But there was a time when I could actually do stuff like take my kids to Six Flags and ride roller coasters.

And just as I was getting frustrated with the way the day was going, I received a really cool message from another blogger. I will be making a unique post about it, but they nominated me for the “Creative Blogger” award. While I’ve seen this award and can’t quite decide whether it is more like a Facebook Chain Letter or the Golden Globes, where Hollywood insiders nominate other Hollywood insiders, still, it’s really cool to know that people are reading and enjoying the words I’m flinging into Cyberspace.

There WILL come a time when I will go on roller coasters again. I will travel to faraway lands, and I will not always feel like I’m coming in last in the marathon, barely able to cross the finish line.

One of the blogs I plan to nominate is from someone who wisely said, “The things people give you and the things you buy can all be taken away from you, but the things that you create are yours forever.” Or something like that…


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